I’m asexual, so the first thing I do when I think about someone is wonder how they met their partner.
I wonder how asexual people are.
I think of the people who don’t know their own gender or identify as neither male nor female.
And it’s an issue that can often be exacerbated by the stigma surrounding the condition, the thought of it and the lack of options.
The stigma surrounding sexual assault is also a factor in why I think sexual harassment is a big issue.
While sexual assault can be something that happens to anyone at any time, the number of people who are victims is higher for those who have experienced the condition before.
And those who don and do not experience sexual assault are often reluctant to speak out, especially if they don’t fit the stereotype that asexuals are the sexually frustrated “homoeroticists” or “sexual-objectified” sex offenders.
“Asexuals have often been seen as asexual and thus less worthy of sympathy than people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender,” writes author and legal analyst Jessica Valenti in her blog.
“We are often seen as the sexual minorities that only have one partner, but this stigma doesn’t help.”
It can be challenging for asexual individuals to be heard and to be believed, especially when they’ve been assaulted, Valenti writes.
For instance, one woman I spoke with recently shared her experiences of sexual assault: “My attacker didn’t just grab my breasts, he grabbed my face.
He grabbed my nose, which he also grabbed my breasts and pushed me to the ground.
He hit me with his hand on the door.
He pushed me on the floor.
And I thought, ‘That’s not fair.
That’s not right.
This isn’t right.'”
In many cases, this can be a barrier for people who’ve experienced sexual assault.
“People are afraid to come forward, and even more afraid to talk about their own experiences, because they are afraid that they will be labeled asexual or asexuality,” Valenti says.
The lack of empathy can also cause many people to believe they’re the problem.
“Many people think that if they’re asexual they must be the problem,” Valentin says.
“They may think, ‘Oh, if only there was more awareness about asexual issues.
If only we could have more support groups.’
But that’s not how it works.”
In her book, “The Case for Sexual Assault,” Valentis explains how sexual assault survivors can be blamed for the experience: They are blamed for their partner’s actions, she says.
In addition, it can be difficult to accept the possibility that the person you’re with could be asexual.
“It’s not uncommon to hear the word ‘sexual’ in an intimate context, and many people are afraid of being accused of having sex with someone they don,t know, and they’re afraid to say so,” Valentina writes.
“The more asexual survivors are made to feel guilty and ashamed for not having a sexual partner, the more they feel like their sexual experiences aren’t valid or that their partner is not worthy of support.”
It’s important to remember that while asexualness can cause a person to feel guilt, it’s also possible to have an amazing life without a partner.
According to the National Coalition of Abused Women, there are approximately 1.5 million asexual women in the U.S., and many have achieved success and independence in their lives.
“Asexuality is often seen, especially in the legal community, as something that’s something you’re born with, and it’s a disability,” Valentino says.
It’s important for a sexual minority to have the same rights as everyone else.
“You can’t be accused of being asexual just because you have an asexual disability,” she adds.